Depression is painful, but it has brought good about – it’s helped me rediscover my passion for writing and also rejuvenated the creativity buried inside me!
Getting Unstuck
I sat down at the kitchen table to write at 8am. When I next noticed the fading light in the grey winter sky, it was 3pm. The whole day had been lost to a fog of depression. “Getting stuck,” a friend of mine calls it. She had experienced it a lot, when her sister was [...]
The hardest part of all
The pain and fear of depression and anxiety are hard, but for me, the shame has been the hardest part of all.
The day of radical truth-telling
I have ideas about the way I want my blog to be. About experience telling my story, but also showing how my story fits into the larger context. About systemic problems and individual solutions. About fairytales and real world heroines.
I don’t.
At the heart of my identity lie struggles I have kept mostly hidden in the online world. I am cutting myself off from myself.
Emotional Scales
I was reading a book about the Law of Attraction the other day (yeah, I had been rolling my eyes at my idea of the concept, too, before I delved in and realised it’s actually full of useful information) and I came across what Jerry and Esther Hicks call The Emotional Scale. It’s based on the idea that you can’t jump straight from being depressed to being full of joy. You can’t jump straight from being angry to feeling optimistic. You can’t jump from feeling despair to simply feeling worried.
The fight goes on
If you follow me on twitter you already know that I’ve been battling off one of the most severe bouts of depression I’ve ever had. Yesterday it started to pass, and for the first time in weeks I cried with relief instead of with hopelessness. Depression can be crippling, and deadly. I’m lucky that it’s a rare thing for me, and that I have a support system to lean on. I’m lucky that I’ve learned that depression lies to you, and that you should never listen to it, in spite of how persuasive it is at the time.
Coming out of the closet
Not THAT one! (well, actually that one too! LOL) My name is Lana, and I’m a social service provider who lives with depression. From the time I was diagnosed almost 20 years ago until today, I’ve tried to avoid the stigma of that label. When I was in graduate school, I wasn’t allowed to work [...]
Cycles of Hell and Happiness
It’s a good day to write this, and not just because I’m avoiding work. Yesterday I was reading a couple of these stories about depression, and feeling empathetic, but from a distance, because I was not in that state. Last night, a misunderstanding started a spiral that had me dressing at 2 am and going [...]
The night I almost went crazy
In my 31st summer, I was learning how to live without drugs to control my anxious, extreme thinking. For three years, the antidepressant Celexa had managed my brain while I learned to take care of myself, to ask for what I wanted and stop trying to please everyone else first. But I had reached the point where it was time to take back the mental reins. And the ride was rough.
Crawling out of the Dark
I’m an author living happily in Bristol, but it’s taken a long fight with depression, eating disorders and self harm to get to where I am today. I hope my story might help other people making the same journey.
In Good Company
Depression runs in my family. My grandmother experienced depression. Two of my uncles have experienced severe depression. And then there’s me. I’ve been through two episodes of clinical depression, the second while I was in Afghanistan, complicated with post-trauma-related issues. Well, actually, maybe that isn’t so much a “family run” of depression so much as a normal family. If I remember correctly, depressive disorders affect about 15% of the adult population.
In praise of Zoloft
Rachel Cole shares what helped her overcome anxiety, and discusses how Western medication can complement Eastern approaches to finding ease in life. Through psychotherapy, meditation, practicing compassion, examining her genetic predisposition, and yes, taking Zoloft, Rachel has been able to live a life that is even keel and peaceful. While each person travels their own path, and one size does not fit all, Rachel offers her experience in the hopes it may help you.
The Goddess with Post Natal Depression
My loves, this is the longest post I’ve ever written – it’s now over 8000 words. It’s taken me many months to write, and two years to live. I wanted to tell my story so it may help other souls who’ve gone through a dark night of the soul. Most of all, I want to say: I love you. I understand. I know. I hear you. I’ve been so touched by the incredible, brave sharings of the souls who have experienced the same thing. Our stories can change the world. This is mine. Love, Goddess Leonie.
Arms that look like mine
It was the longest three hours of my life. I had flown by myself to a treatment center far from home, The Women’s Institute for Incorporation Therapy. The center promised to have answers for women like me, women who were suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress and Dissociative Identity Disorders (PTSD and DID) brought on by a [...]
Gina Rafkind’s Anxiety Journey
Anxiety is my ‘wake up’ call to life. I’ve been journeying through over 17 years of anxiety busting and it’s been one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I would never be who I am today without it. It has been painful, confusing, challenging and draining… but it’s also been one of the most transforming journeys I’ve ever taken.
Hollowed Out
I’ve been trying to write this for weeks. Writing is not something that I find difficult, in fact, since I started trying to write this post I’ve written over 36,000 words of my latest novel. And some blog posts. And a fair few emails. I’m stalling again, even here, on the page. Since I had post-natal depression I’ve written novels, an anthology of short stories, hundreds of blog posts and yet I have never been able to write about my experience of the first three years of my son’s life.
Becoming a Depression Sleuth
Do I count as “depressed”? When Kate asked me to be part of the In Good Company project, I excitedly agreed, but I couldn’t say yes without giving a paragraph’s worth of disclaimers. “I’ve never been diagnosed with depression.” “I know people whose depression is far worse than mine. I don’t want to offend them by being presumptuous.” “It’s not really that bad for me. I’m not even sure my experience really counts.” What does ‘depression’ even mean?
A Difference between Trey Pennington’s story and mine
Trey Pennington committed suicide today. He was a marketing genius and a dad. And when I talked with him, he seemed a sweet, intelligent person. He had the unique skills to carefully relate marketing and social media in a real, easy-to-understand way. More details are becoming known about his suicide. It’s a very difficult situation. [...]
Mind the gap: the gulf between a depressed person and the rest of the world
Many years ago, a friend of mine started to suffer from depression. I remember feeling quite angry with her at the time. She was (and is!) bright, creative, talented, well-educated and supported. In fact on her day she’s an incredibly sparkly and wonderful human being, so with all of that being true, why the hell [...]
Breakdowns, breakthroughs, and three things I want you to know
I feel a little odd writing this post, because I don’t have any kind of editorial line – I’m just sharing my experience. But I firmly believe that sharing our experiences is a hugely powerful thing. In fact I know it, from personal experience. When I was in the deep, dark depression/anxiety hole, it helped me so much when people told me they’d been through the same thing. So, I hope it will help you to hear about my experiences.